Learning Journal 25

I had an interesting experience yesterday that made me very happy!  Well, I don't know if happy is the right word, but it made me realize that some of the things that I have learned in this class are applying to my life already. I was in class and we were talking about gay marriage and the effects of having two gay parents on a child.  Normally, I believe basically everything that my professors say, especially about research and outcomes.  My professor was saying how having two gay parents can be harmful for kids because they need a mom and a dad, for different things like reasoning (moms) and emotion regulation (dads).  He was also saying how other kids can make fun of these kids because of their two gay parents.  But, I remembered reading in two of my other text books how research has shown that there are no actual negative effects of gay parents on their children. So, instead of believing what my professor said, I looked back at my books and at the studies they used.  And although there did seem to be some possible confounding variables in the studies used to validate these results, the research was there and it was used in the text books.  So how does this relate to Tonga?  Well we talked about the Ophellia syndrome earlier in the semester and about how important is to not wait to be spoon fed things and to question what people tell us.

I'm hoping that this little experience means that I'm becoming more prepared for the field.  I think that going out and studying what I question, is exactly what we will be doing in the field, so that little experience was a little bit of prep and helped me to see how much more I can learn what I try to find out more than what one person tells me.

I also watched the video about translation, something about "the babel fish."  Watching that made me realize how serious of an issue translation can be. My tongan is terrible, and I think I'm just kind of expecting that the most of the people will speak english.  But I know that this is probably not going to be the case, or atleast not for everyone that I meet.  I think it's really funny how somethings can be so misunderstood in other cultures, because of how different phrases are understood.  I definitely want to make sure that I find a good translator and make sure that I'm not saying things that would assume that they understand what I mean.  For example, instead of using a phrase that describes something here, I will make sure that they understand the concept of what I'm asking by using words that I know they understand meanings of.

Learning Journal 17: The Ophellia Syndrome

The reading for today, "Curing the Ophellia Syndrome," had a lot of really good points.  One thing that I felt was very applicable to me was how it talked about not doing something just because that's what everyone around you does or believes.  One of my biggest complaints about BYU is how I feel like so much of personal agency is taken away.  This is not a bash on BYU, and I completely understand why the rules are the way they are so I don't need a lecture on that, but from an outside point of view, it really does seem like the rules/honor code/socially accepted norms really do take away a lot of choices for people.  It is crucial to remember that even if you are being told what to believe and how to live, you have to figure out what you actually want for yourself.   For me, I have to frequently remind myself that I'm allowed to have my own opinions about things, even if the culture around me doesn't agree on those opinions.  I think that's an important thing to remember in the Field, it's important to not just wait for someone to spoon feed us the information or tell us exactly what to do every day.  We have to be able to think for ourselves and use our brains to decide what we should be doing, how we should be using our time, and what is going to make our experience the best one for us.

Another great idea that came to me while reading this article was about the importance of journal keeping.  The author talked about how he wrote for five or ten minutes about his thoughts and feelings and things that were going on in his life, for himself.  Currently, I am the world's worst journal keeper.  But I think as I go out into the Field, it will be nice to spend a little time each day or week just writing about what I am feeling and thinking.  Obviously, we will be keeping lots of notes on our observations and projects, but just writing down your thoughts can really help you to be aware of yourself individually.

I also loved his suggestion to view everything from a different point of view.  I think that is one of the most important goals for me personally as I go to Tonga.  I don't want to view everything from my Amercian, egocentric, LDS point of view.  One of the most challenging things to do in my opinion is to step back and view the same situation from someone else's point of view.  This weekend, I watched a movie about this girl that was killing men.  Obviously, throughout the movie I was thinking of her as this bad person who was pretty much a heartless monster for killing so many young men.  So when I heard her story (about how she had been raped when she was in college and when she went to the police they wouldn't do anything because the young man who raped her was from a very socially elite family in their town) I tried to look at the situation from her point of view.  Instead of thinking of her as a monster, I actually felt a lot of sympathy and could understand how she came to be the way she did.  Anyways, the point is, I think it's important to view situations from the perspectives of other people.  Or as Atticus Finch said, "you never know somebody until you put on their shoes and walk around in them for a day." Hopefully, we will get to walk around in other people's shoes a lot in Tonga!