learning journal 18

This weekend I went to church at the Polynesian ward!  I only went to relief society, but it was so fun to get to talk to a couple of the Tongan people there!  I was actually paying attention to the lesson more than trying to do participant observations or taking note of their behaviors, but I did notice a few things that were really interesting.  The first thing was when I walked in, there were no gaps between where people were sitting.  In my relief society it's like everyone is grouped with their friends and there are a few seats between each little group.  I don't know if it was because they were all just friends, but it was like they just didn't mind sitting by whoever.  When I walked in, I was late and a girl on the edge of the row immediately moved her stuff and motioned for me to sit by her.  It was really nice.

Another thing I noticed was that they talked to each other from across the room.  For example, when one girl was sharing an experience another girl hollered something from literally the other side of the room and then a couple other comments were made.  I loved it!!  It was like a discussion and it was totally informal, but the message from the lesson was still getting across.  And so many of the girls were hillarious! I know it's just as stereotypical to say "Tongans are all funny" as it is to say "Tongans are all jerks" (this is just an example, not anything I have ever heard anyone say!), but a lot of the girls made me laugh so hard, which was really nice!  One of the girls invited me to come to FHE and to a Tongan class they have on wednesday nights, so that was exciting!  I plan on going back to meet more Tongan people and to get the experience of being around people that I don't know and putting myself out there.

On a different note, I really enjoyed the readings for today.  I thought the one about "eating Christmas dinner with the bushmen was really applicable."  It made me think about how important it is to not think that everything the people do or say to you is because you are white, or American, or an outsider.  The guy in the story felt like they were being mean to him or whatever because he was an outsider, but when he started asking around he found out they all treat each other like that and it wasn't just him.He actually should have felt happy they were treating him like one of them, or at least that's how I would feel.  I think my goal is to not be viewed the whole time I'm there as a BYU student, or an American, or a white girl, or anything else like that, but rather to be treated like one of them as much as possible.  I know that's a pretty heavy goal, but I think as you build relationships and get to know the people individually, they will start to think of me as more than just another student.  And the reading about helping, fixing, or serving made me realize how important it is to keep in mind that we are no better than the people that we will be in contact with in Tonga and that we should remember how they are serving us just as much as we will be serving them.

Learning Journal 16

The reading about finding a field cite were actually very interesting.  First of all, I realized that we are really lucky to have a contact already set up for us.  It's really nice to know that we are going to have somewhere to stay and have some contacts upon arrival.  I also think that the "field" that I will be doing my research in is one that will be very accessible since all I need is to have families and homes to be in.

The following quote from the reading is one of my most favorite that I read from all the readings so far: "The researcher does not participate in the lives of subjects in order to observe them, but rather observes while participating fully in their lives.. . through living with the people being studied."  Ashley sort of talked about this last week when she was saying how important it is for us to remember that the people we will be are interacting with, and researching in a sense, are people, and not just subjects there for us to ask questions. I have stated this before, and alluded to it several of my learning journals, but it just keeps hitting me over and over again that it's so important that we keep in mind that these are people who are being kind enough to let us in their homes and in their communities and they aren't just subjects for us to use to do research on.  They are people who have lives of their own. We talked last week in class about how much they will probably want to do for us, as far as taking care of all of the housework and cooking and stuff like that. I think it's very important that I make sure to do all I can to try and help and not take advantage of their kindness.

As much as I hope to be immersed in the culture, I think realistically my kind of experience will be "participant as observer."  They will know that we are there to observe, but hopefully for the most part my research will be observe and I will be able to build real, intimate relationships with some of the families and community members.  Obviously, to others I will fill the role of "observer as participant" since I won't have close contact with them and to some I will probably just seem like another student there for school or whatever.  But with a little luck, and cultural sensitivity, I will be able to build actual relationships with the Tongan people that I meet.

Learning Journal 8: Dilemmas

The topic of aggression that I have been trying to study for the last couple of months is continuing to give me concerns.  I still find the topic to be very interesting.  I enjoy researching about aggression and reading articles that have previously been published on the topic, however, I am concerned that my topic might be a sensitive topic for the Tongan people.  Unfortunately,  I can't figure out how to tell if this is true.  I am confused as to how I am supposed to know how the people will react to my questions about their aggression norms without being around them.  I am continuing to look up articles on aggression and on the Tongan people, but am having little luck finding articles that touch both of those topics.  On the bright side, I have found an article that addresses how women in Tongan display their anger, and think that this will be very helpful to me.

In order to prepare myself for my Field Study, I have tried to put myself in culturally unfamiliar places.  For example, I attended a baptist church by myself.  It was very interesting to be in such a different church environment than the one I am used to.  I went into the situation with a very open mind, which kept me from being judgmental, or thinking to myself "that's wrong" or "why aren't they wearing dresses?"  I thought to myself that it would be very easy to think those kinds of things, but because I went into the church trying to learn what they do and not compare it to what I believe, I was able to gain a whole new perspective.  There were several things about the church that I even thought "I wish we did that in my church."  I think this helped reiterate to me the importance of going to Tonga with an open mind and just trying to learn about their lifestyles. When you go into something thinking I am going to learn and not judge, it makes it a lot easier to have a good experience.

The last dilemma that I have had this week came from my book search.  As I previously mentioned, finding a book about Tonga has been very difficult for me.  However, I found a book titled, " American Taboo," that I am considering using for my review.  The book is not directly about Tonga, but rather about a murder of an American woman working in the Peace Corps, that took place in Tonga.  As far as I can tell, the book addresses some of the cultural aspects about Tonga.  However, it seems like it might be a little of a stretch to get it to relate to the Field Study.  For this reason, I have also considered reading a book called, "Guns, Germs, and Steel."  This one isn't about Tonga exactly either, but is more about societies on a whole and seems like it addresses culture more than my other choice. Another decision I need to make!