coming home

I finally made it home after 20 hours of plane rides and airports. . . I'm missing Tonga like crazy, but it's nice to be able to talk to friends and family again. The last couple of weeks have been a blur.  We had a lot of fun before we left, with goodbye dinners and picnics at the beach!  it was really great.  Saying goodbye to everyone was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced, but I know I will see them again.  I really couldn't believe three months had already passed when I left, it seemed so short.  My project went really well and I'm glad that I got to learn so much about the Tongan culture, but I feel like there is always more to learn!  Basically Tongan families are centered around respect and love and have more love than I can comprehend for everyone in their community.  Everyone talked about how much they were going to miss us and how they were sorry they had nothing to give to us to show us their love.  That always made me cry because I knew that they had given me more than they could imagine by just showing my so much love and kindness.  They are the greatest examples of humility, strength, charity, and respect in the world (I might be biased, but I'm pretty sure I'm right).  

We spent 10 days in sydney and new zealand which was really fun, too! Basically we hiked around beautiful mountains, saw a lot of beautiful scenery and beaches, black water rafted through caves, walked on a 3 foot ledge around the tallest building in that hemisphere, cuddled with koala bears, saw kangaroos, and hung out with some cool people. It was a great time!  Nothing compares to the beautiful vava'u though!

Near Death Experiences. . .

So much has happened since my last blog post that I can’t possibly write it all in the fifteen minutes of my precious internet time I am dedicating to this. . . but I will give some highlights. 

I think I’ll begin with my most near death experience (breathe mom, of course I’m being dramatic!). . . but really though, I had an allergic reaction to some canned tuna (watch out for the expired labels from the Chinese stores!) and thought I was going to die.  It happened really fast, but basically my hands, feet, head and face were itching and burning really bad and were really red and tight so I decided to go to the hospital after the dance we were on our way to.  But by the time we got to the dance I was completely covered in red bumps and itchy from head to toe, so we dropped everyone at the dance and went to the hospital.  I could barely breathe by the time we got there but my best friend here in Tonga, kefilini, was super nice and stayed with me while I waited for the doctor.  Finally they gave me a shot that was like a miracle drug and I got better really fast.  It was crazy how fast it got so bad though! The hospital was funny because they just right everything on a piece of notebook paper and there is no formal check in. They didn’t charge for anything either, which I GREATLY appreciated.  The people were so friendly, even in the hall outside of the doctor’s office the other people waiting were asking my all questions, like what did I eat, and wash my clothes in, and if I showered in rain water or tap water. . . it was really sweet. 

So my next near death came at the dance . . . ok not really, but it was pretty scary.  My partner and I only messed up like twice, which was better than a lot of the other couples, but I was really nervous the whole time!  One of the funny things they do during the dances is come up and give people money while they are dancing.  Which sounds nice, but you aren’t supposed to stop and instead of handing it to you, they stuff it down your shirt. . . which is just funny to me.  I made six dollars though, so that was exciting!

And then my next near death experience came yesterday at our farewell picnic at the beach.  We went with like 20 of our Tongan friends and our host family to the most beautiful beach in vava’u for a picnic.  We were there all day so it was really fun. We cooked chicken, ufi, tarroh, and turtle in a fire and just played while we were waiting for the food and after we ate.  The Tongans are funny because they put sunscreen on but it doesn’t rub in like ours does, so their faces are just white.  They look like Geishas! The boys played rugby in the water and on the beach for hours and we all played chicken and marco polo.  It was a really fun day! At one point, us five palangi and two 19 year old tongan boys decided to swim to the island across from the one we were on.  We decided that it was somewhere between a ¼ and a ½ mile swim.  On the way over there,  me and michelle thought we were going to drown because we were so tired! Between the current and the long swim, it was very exhausting!  Luckily we made it and the swim back was much easier!  It was so beautiful though.  It’s just this little island with a white sandy beach and blue water.  It was funny because on the swim over there we couldn’t touch because it was so deep, but we could see everything because the water was so blue. It was incredible.   Later in the day, I got stung by five or six jelly fish, which stung but wasn’t as terrible as I anticipated. It was weird though to see all of them floating towards me and around me, I felt like Dory in Finding Nemo.  It was a really fun day and made me sad to think about how much I’m going to miss the beautiful beaches and all of the friends I have made here.  

My next near death experience came when we went whale watching! We took this tiny boat, it was just the five of us, 2 asian women, and our 2 guides, into the deep DEEP ocean! On the way out there me, michelle, and Daniel sat on the top of the boat, which only has a two inch rail around it.  When we got to the parts not surrounded by islands it was super choppy and we were going so fast, that we almost fell off the boat a couple of times.  One time I was actually pretty sure that I was a gonner, but I didn’t fall! We finally spotted some whales swimming and chased them down. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! They were so big!  We were maybe 15 or 20 ft away from them, so LIKE REALLY REALLY CLOSE!  There were three that were swimming right beside us for a while, it was cool just to see their bodies and we even saw one of their faces once.  Whales are amazing. We got into the water once with them, but they swam away so we couldn’t see them.  I can’t describe how cool it was to see them just from the boat though.   We also went snorkeling by a really cool reef and in a cave.  Google mariners cave! Maybe you can see some cool  pics, and swallows cave too! Anyways, snorkeling was really fun! The water is so blue and light from the sun that we could see like all the way to bottom of the ocean floor. The reef has so many beautiful fish! A lot of them were really big and super colorful! It was awesome!  Mariners cave is cool because you can’t see it from outside, you have to swim under the cliff/rocks to get into it.  I was a little nervous just because you have to swim through to the other side and I didn’t know how far it would be, but it was good.  On the inside it’s really cool because it has all the steam coming off of the water and we snorkeled in there too! It was a really good day!

I’m really running out of time so this is probably not making much sense any more, but one last thing I have to mention! We went to one of our friends families for turtle (which is surprisingly delicious!) and a cookout there.  They made lots of food and we played volleyball and went to the beach that day too. They were so nice to us and it was just fun to be with a family and hang out with them. We went to this “resort beach” that we didn’t pay for because our friend knows the owner. It was truly like one of the resorts you see in the movies. The water is of course like aqua blue and the sand is perfect white, but it was really beautiful because of all the palm trees and wooden lawn chairs and hammocks and wooden tables just sitting every where on the sand by the shore.  I took a few pics, but I don’t know if it will really show how pretty it was. 

My project is pretty much done, I’m just trying to learn as much as possible before I leave, but I’m done interviewing!  I’m really sad to say bye to my students tomorrow, but I’m happy that I’m not actually leaving until next Wednesday.  I can’t  believe I only have one week here left, I am getting so sad to say goodbye.  I’m really looking forward to our 10 days in New Zealand and Australia though and hoping that will make leaving a little less hard.  I think that’s all of the really big/exciting things that we have done, pretty much everything else has been hanging out with the kids or with kefilini or working on school stuff or dance practice. . . living in Tonga has really made me realize how much I enjoy the simple life! 

Prayers needed now more than ever. . . .

So I don't have much news to share this week. . . nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary.  My project is really coming along. I am pretty much done with my interviews, so now I just need to compile everything and put it together in some sort of organized paper. . . this should be fun!!  That's what I have been doing with most of my time lately.  It's really interesting how much I have learned about families here. Basically what I am finding is that the term family here refers to more than just father, mother, and children.  There is so much love for everyone in the community and everyone kind of works together to help each other. It's really amazing to me. I'm still making a lot of observations and learning a lot, but basically I'm realizing how natural it is for many Tongan's to share and help each other because that's what they learn from birth. 
So the only other exciting thing I have been doing is practicing for a dance I'm going to be in on Friday.  This is where the prayers come in! Anyone who knows me knows that I have the coordination and grace of a four year old, so I'm sure you can see why this is so challenging for me!  There are like ten couples and we are doing three dances (kind of like line dances, with a lot of kicking, spinning, and feet movements).  My partner is really nice and it is really fun, but I'm starting to freak out a little bit for the actual dance, especially the part where we have to do it in front of so many people! So please pray that it will go well and I won't look like too much of a fool.  It's just me and one other palangi, so we are already going to be the object of everyone's attention, add that to my lack of dance skills. . . clearly I wasn't thinking when I said yes! But I'm excited, and it's fun, so hopefully it will be good!

I can't think of anything else to share today, life is good! I'm sad to leave.  The people are amazing and I am really grateful for the opportunity to learn from them and to see how much love they have for everyone. 

Every little thing, is gonna be alright. . .

We recently switched the cd from the one with justin beiber and chris brown on it, to bob marley! It was a very nice change, it feels very islandery. A million things have happened since my last blog post. . .

We made tapa cloth, you should google it to see it. Basically, we went into the bush, chopped down several thin mulberry trees, stripped them of their bark, pulled out the middle, smashed it until it was paper thin, and then beat it with another one to make the two come together so it's bigger, and then let it dry. It was very hard work! We all had blisters the next day from all of the beating with the big beating thing.  It was really fun though, it made me feel like a tongan. One of the professors from byu was here for the last couple of weeks, he left yesterday, so we did some cool things with him.  We took a tour of vava'u, the whole island! We just drove in the car for four hours and saw almost everything.  There were so many incredible views, that the whole thing was just amazing.  We stopped at a beach and made lunch there (ramen noodles with corned beef, papaya, bread, and coconuts for drink).  The water is amazing here, it's just so blue everywhere, it never gets old. That night we went out to dinner at a tongan buffett (we never eat out here so that was very exciting!) and  saw a show. The dancing was really pretty, it was mostly kids, but it was really nice.

I drove the van! It's weird driving on the wrong side of the road, and the van is huge and backwards, so I was really bad.  Uini was cracking up the whole time, and the two guys in the backseat were scared for their lives. I never actually hit anything, but I did get amazing close five or twenty times.  She kept saying slow down and get in the middle of the road, but she was laughing so hard I could barely understand her. It was a good experience, but I dont' feel like I'll be driving much any more.

We went on a hike up to the tallest mountain in vava'u, it was only ten or fifteen minutes long, but it was basically straight up.  They have ropes to hold on to though and help pull you up, so that was good. We could see everything from the top. Not to be redundant, but the ocean is truly amazing. The water is so many different shades of blue, my personal favorite is the aqua, that I can't begin to describe how pretty it is.  It was a fun hike!  After the hike, we went to our normal beach to swim and make lunch. We spent the whole day there, so we got nice tans! We cooked some really tasty chicken on a fire that Ofa made on the beach, just out of rocks and twigs.  The tide was really low, so we went all the way out to the reef again, and this time walked down to an area we hadn't seen before.  There was this perfect place to jump in that was so blue and not too rocky, so me and michelle jumped in! It was probably one of the more terrifying things that I have ever done, but it was so worth it! We could see so far down, but it was so deep we were just treading water in the ocean.  It was so far away from the shore and covered by the reef, so it was like we were in the ocean alone.  It was crazy!

Speaking of crazy, we went on a boat ride this weekend for four or five hours on sunday.  Boats are fun alone becuase it's the ocean so it's choppy and wavy, but it was really amazing to just see so much of the ocean.  It's so open and endless. Once again, the water was so blue. It would be dark blue in the really deep parts and then next to the rocks (baby islands) it would be like an aqua or turquoise blue, it's just so breathtaking. After an hour or so on the boat, we pulled into this cave in a big rock of an island.  It was probably 100 ft long and 100 ft wide, so once we got through the small opening, it was pretty big.  We could see everything to the bottom, even though it was pretty dark and super deep.  I jumped in first, so I was pretty much scared to death.  It was so deep and there could have been anything in there, mostly I was afraid of sharks, but I never saw one. It was so fun to just swim and then climb the rocks and jump into the water. Swimming in a deserted cave in the middle of the south pacific ocean, definitely one of my new favorite things!  After that, we got back on the boat a went to this deserted island, no sign of life except for one random chicken.  The sand was so white and it was like walking on cotton balls or flour.  It looked so much cooler than in the postcards or movies, I couldn't capture it in a picture.  The water was so clear that I could see every detail on my legs and feet. If I had to pick the most beautiful place in the world, it would absolutely be there. So that was a fun day.

Other than those things, we went to a couple of dances, which were fun. I have been giving english lessons after school still, so that takes up some of the time. 
My students came to my house one morning at 8:10 to wake me up because I was supposed to be at school and I had overslept. It was funny just because there were 15 of the 40 kids in my class at the gate screaming for me. It was cute.

Couple of funny things: The kids said I killed the puppy (which I definitely didn't, and I'm pretty sure they did).  They told Uini in tongan that I choked the puppy (they did the choking sign and everything) and there were four of them saying I did. We all that it was pretty funny, sad of course that he died, but funny they blamed it on me.  I asked Uini how we say "be nice to the puppies" in Tongan, and she replied, "punch their heads." That's the preferred parenting style here.  The kids chant about the red worms, calling them "jesus's bugs."  And isileli found a straw and came up with the creative idea to put one end in his mouth and the other in his armpit and run around in circles blowing it, for the record it makes a farting noise, so it's funny.  He thinks it's the funniest thing. The kids also think it's funny to run naked in the rain, so they do that a lot.  And the most popular song the Tongan children sing is "happy birthday." You hear a lot of neighborhood kids screaming it on a daily basis, even though it's no ones birthday. That's the most english any of them know.

Life lesson of the week:  Don't worry. Be happy. Every little thing, is gonna be alright.

Even if you have nothing, you can still be happy. You can always be happy.                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Time is flying by. . .

I'm already feeling really sad just thinking about how I have to leave in just under two months! It feels like we just got here yesterday! The kids at my school have won me over and have me wrapped around all of their little fingers. They are truly precious, and if it wasn't for my friends and family, I think I would stay here forever with them.  Nothing too crazy has happened in the past two weeks. . .

I went on a walk towards the shoreline with two of the people in my group, but they gave up and didn't want to trapse through the bush to find the water. I, on the other hand, am always up for the adventure! So, they turned around and I walked towards the bush.  They thought I would follow them (they don't know how crazy I am yet!), but instead I found a little boy (13 years old) who spoke a little english.  I asked which way to the water, and he showed me a path. He took me down this SUPER steep, muddy trail that led to this swampy marsh. I fell down about 26 or 97 times in the mud, but it was just really funny and I only got a few scrapes and minor cuts. When we got to the swamp I asked if it led to the ocean and he said it did, so we kept walking. The marsh was covered by a ton of rooty trees and you couldn't see anything except the trees above you.  There were a lot of crabs and fish in the water, which was cool.  Finally, we made it to the open ocean. It wasn't like a beach, it was just magical, still, bright, blue water. All around you could just see water and green trees and hills.  it was crazy, beautiful! Truly, life changing! Anyways, he's my new friend. On the way up, he helped me up the hill. At one point he was pushing me up the hill because it was so muddy! Very funny picture, I know! We have been back there a couple of times since then. 

I have been giving english lessons to a couple of the kids from my class after school, they seem to enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a palangi girl and they are boys or if they just really want to learn english. But they are my new best buds, so I keep them around.  ONe of them wants to move to America to become a doctor and the other wants to move to america and be a teacher.  I love listening to them talk. 

Nothing else exciting is coming to my mind. . . just a lot of laundry, bugs, walks, beautiful sights, amazing water, OH! ONe more story. . .

The other morning I woke up to the sound of a dog barking like it wanted to kill someone, and a pig squealing like it was dying, and children screaming.  So, I went outside at 6:30 am to see what was going on. Still in my pjs, glasses, and hair in a lopsided pony with half of it falling out, of course.  I go out to the fence and see a tiny, baby pig stuck between a banana tree and the fence, with Sally (the dog we named) attacking the pig. So I kick the dog away and pick up the pig. The gate was still locked and there were three little neighbor girls (who the pig belonged to) on the other side. The oldest was maybe six years old. There were also three dogs on the other side of the gate trying to jump and get the pig out of my hands.  the girls were throwing rocks at them and kicking them, while I'm holding the pig up in the air (like in the lion king when rafiki holds up simba). After a few minutes, another neighbor girl comes over gets the pig from me and puts it under her house safe from the dogs. it was a funny picture.  That's all for this week. . . more to come soon!

These are a few of my favorite things. . .

So a lot of random things have happened this week! I'm just going to give you the highlights of a few of the cool and funny experiences!  First, we went to a dance last friday night. It was really fun but very different from any dance I have ever seen. After every song, everyone goes back to their seat. You wait for a boy to come ask you, and to ask you he walks up to you and bows then you go and dance with him.  No one was talking to any their dance partner and you stand about four feet away from the person you are dancing with.  It was very entertaining.  The kids would come up behind me and touch my hair and when we were dancing there were about ten kids circled around me dancing like i was.  It was precious! On saturday we went to the beach, which is always amazing! we went to the rocky beach again.  It was high tide and the current was very strong! It's kind of like an adventure to stay up and not be pulled away.  We found a "cave rock" that was huge and climbed up on top of that (which was kind of painful and scary) but when we got to the top it was the most amazing view of just the ocean and waves and palm trees with the sunsetting directly over them.  On the other side the stars were already comng out.  It was truly breathtaking.

On Monday, Nick and I talk Manoa (the 13 month old we live with) for a walk in his stroller. We were just walking for fun and to see things and we saw this sign by a path that said something ( a long tongan word) lookout.  So we decided to be adventurous and took the dirt path. We walked for about an hour in the bush (the jungle) and the path ended but we knew that the ocean had to be somewhere close so we kept going through the knee high grass.  I carried manoa and nick carried the stroller on his head. Finally, we found the edge.  It was a big jungly cliff, and all we could see was ocean all around us.  It was absolutly amazing! It wasn't a beach at all, just a the edge of the island.  The ocean is so massive and went on forever every direction.  I had chills it was so pretty.  it was kind of a funny picture too though, because it was just us two palangii's with a tongan baby and a stroller hiking through the jungle without any direction and no body around us. It was a four hour hike/walk, but totally worth it! BEST VIEW EVER!

We went to a funeral yesterday, which was pretty cool. I was at school still for half of it, but the other students went to the house and hugged the dead body. So that was interesting. Everyone sang a lot and then at the end they gave everyone a bag of meat. I'm still not sure why, but we ate it for dinner last night and it was ifo'opito (very delicious) so I'm not complaing!  An interesting thing about tonga is that they bury a lot of people in the same grave, up to ten family members.  When the next person dies they dig up the grave again and put the body on the others. It was a very special thing to see.

A few random funny things: The tongan babies are strong! They beat each other all of the time and never cry.  One of the guys here kicked a rugby ball (very hard leather) straight up in the air and it fell right on a baby sleeping in it's stroller.  It hit the baby full force, but the baby just woke up cried for three seconds, and then went right back to sleep. All of the kids are so tough, it's amazing! 

My tongan is still really bad. I was at school the other day and I was leaving the class and then a few of the students ran after me yelling something.  I couldn't understand them so I just smiled and waved and said "Bye!" and kept walking. Then they yelled louder, but I just turned around and waved again and said "see you later" and then finally one of the girls who does speak english came out and was like "they say you left your umbrella!" It was really funny.

I have a student in my class who always picks papaya and indian apples (the most amazing food I have ever put in my mouth, so delicious!) for me and brings them to me! He is so sweet and always stands outside my house and yells my name. It's adorable!  Another funny story, Uini through a giant cock roach at me. i was standing by the door and she thought I was holding it open for her to throw it out the door, but I wasn't. So she throught it straight at me. I almost had a heart attack. There was a lot of screaming and jumping.  This place is really funny!

Embrace it!

This post is going to be short because I am sick today but this is the only time this week I will be able to be on the internet so I wanted to write something. . . Basically everything is going great.  We are finally adjusted to just about everything and it finally feels like real life.  We went to a feast on monday (pretty sure that's what made me so sick) and it was incredible.  They had so much food! Most of it was really good.  I wasn't brave enough to try canned spaghetti omlettes, but I tried just about everything else.  We were guests of honor, so we got to sit at a table and got our own food plate.

Not much exciting happened this week besides the feast.  We have been walking a lot, met a lot of nice people, weaved- which is fun, and just working on our projects and teaching english at the primary school.  I love my students and even though it's annoying because the book is totally useless and the kids don't understand anything, it's really fun and they are so sweet.  One little boy climbed a papaya tree and picked a few for me, it was nice!  Thanks for all of the comments! I didn't get any emails this week so I would love to hear what's going on over there.  . . hint, hint. :)

The Palangi's vs. The Critters . . .

There is definitely something in the Tongan water that makes the bugs (monga mongas) grow crazy huge! I'm thinking steroids, but I'm not sure.  We have had more mosquito, flea, and spider bites than most people get in their lifetime.  There are ants all over everything, including us!  The cockroaches are measured at around 8inches with their antennas (5 without).  And then there are the mice that like to hide in our window seals and the deadly centipede that ran under my chair! You should google centipedes in tonga to get a better understanding of their size.  The good news is that we are all surviving and have actually killed quite a few!  It's funny though because it's kind of like a game and it makes it a little enjoyable, like "what will we find today?" 

Other than that things are great here! We don't have running water so we have been bathing (not often) in buckets, brushing our teeth outside, and using the bathroom in the outhouse.  It's exciting!  I'm becoming very domesticated and brave!  We did our laundry by hand outside last week and have been making food without measuring cups and with a stove you light with a match.  We wash our dishes (and hair) with rain water.  It's all very. . . traditional! I feel like after three months here, I will be able to live anywhere!  We don't sleep with covers, just our mosquito nets, because it's so hot here.  It's funny that they call it winter. I really do love it here! The people are so friendly and seeing how little all these people have makes me realize how silly I am for placing so much emphasis on material things.  It's like all that these people care about is laughing, being with their families, and enjoying life.  People are always just sitting outside hanging out and not stressed about every little detail.  I'm learning a ton!  Even though we don't have all of the technology and comforts I'm used to, it's like it doesn't matter here.  Nobody has anything but it doesn't feel like they are missing anything either. 

I started volunteering at the primary school this week.  It's so fun! They always stare at me and smile and call me palangi.  They get so excited when I come! I'm teaching them english which is hard because I don't know enough Tongan and they don't know hardly any english.  the book they gave me to teach them out of is WAY TOOOOOOO advanced! So it's frustrating, but it's sweet because I'll tell them I'm done and they can go home and they will be like "no, we want to learn more."  The school always gets canceled and let out early all the time.  It's really sad.  When I'm talking they just listen and pay attention and act like they really care what I'm saying.  It's nice.  The school just needs a lot of help and more teachers, they only have five teachers for six classes.  Despite how little everyone here has, they are so happy and know how to enjoy life.  I'm so glad to be here and to be learning from them!

This last week I learned to weave with banana leaves (I think that's what it is in english), went to a dance where they did traditional dancing, went to two different beaches that were both as clear as a pool.  One was rocky and the current was the stronger than I ever imagined it could be so I got a little cut up, but it was so beautiful I didn't even notice.  the other was sandy and better than anything you could see on google images or in a post card. Pictures can't capture it.  Funny thing about the beaches! We saw cows on the shore of the rocky beach and pics on the sandy one! It was hillarious! PIGS ON A BEACH! We also found an electric blue starfish that was still alive, I picked up but threw it back because I felt bad killing it.  We went to a rugby game too, which was cool.  I feel like we have done so many things but I am out of minutes on the computer so I have to get off! I love this place! You should make it your next goal to come see this place! It's incredible!

And the adventure begins. . .

Malo e leilei! I LOVE TONGA!   The flights over here were great, I watched about six movies and nine episodes of Cougar Town (very funny, by the way).  They fed us some pretty great food and had the greatest new zealand accents I have ever heard.  It was funny when we got off the flight from NZ to Tongatapu (the main island), because  instead of walking through a terminal you just step off the plane, like the president does.  The airport there is so small and has  like three main rooms, one to get your visa and check passports and one to get through customs, and one for departing flights.  So we get through customs, get our visas, and exchange our US dollars for Pa'anga, and then just look at each other, like "now what?"  Our flight from Tongatapu to Vava'u (the island we are living on) didn't leave untill the next afternoon, so we had 24 hours to kill on the main island.  After an hour, and a series of unfortunate events, we arrived in nuku'alofa at a guest house/hostel and got a room there for about $15 usd.  It was. . . interesting.  It really wasn't that bad, just a lot of bugs, centipedes, spiders, grime, etc. They were really nice though, so it was nice!  We walked around nuku'alofa and ate at this little Tongan restaurant.  It was pretty good, I had "kentucky" which was just fried chicken.  I thought that was pretty funny.  On the menu it doesn't say anything about chicken or it being fried it literally just says "kentucky."  That night we just walked around and looked at things and then played cards after it got dark because it's really bad to walk at dark (or so they say.) 

The next morning, the same taxi driver came and got us and took us on a tour around the island.  The taxi, btw, is a big van with no AC and he played a lot of funny reggae mixes of american music (like jason mraz, shania twain, and cher, to name a few).  We saw the natural blow holes which were indescribable!  They were so breathtaking.  We also saw fox bats (google them) and the stonehinge which was like two big rocks.  then we went to the beach, which was the most beautiful place I have ever seen, easily better than the pictures!  The water is AQUA blue and as clear as crystal.  The sand was clean and there were tiki torches everywhere. It was incredible. 

Our flight to vava'u was good, it's funny because they have no security at the airport and the ticket they give you is like a hand written slip of paper.  And the cockpit (where the pilot sits, I think that's what it's called) is open, so you can see him and everything in there.  We got the airport and Ofa and Uini picked us up with their four beautiful little kids.  We were supposed to be staying at three different places in two different villages, but we got to their house and they were like, "Ok, we moved to the hut outside and you guys are all going to live in our house, because all of the other familes had something come up." So we are all living in the same house! I feel terrbile that they gave us their house, but I'm incredibly blown away by their kindness.  It's not like any house I have ever imagined before.  I can't really explain it.  There is no running water out of faucets but we do have a toilet inside, but no shower.  There are bugs everywhere.  Yet somehow, it already feels like home!  I really love it.  The kids are funny, they don't speak english so they just yell "PALANGI" which means white person and then run around giggling.  Ofa (the dad) doesn't speak english either, but he seems really hillarious!  Uini does speak english pretty well, and I already love her.  She is probablly the sweetest person I have ever met. 

I'm sharing a bed with michelle and we sleep with our mosquito nets covering us up, but no blankets becuase it's too hot.  The windows are always open, because there is no AC anywhere on the island, but it feels totally safe.  Everyone is super friendly!  They wave and smile at us.  Everyone kind of stares at us, and the kids all say palangi and laugh when they see us.  It's nice though.  It's so beautiful and green.  There are pigs, cows, and horses just running around everywhere.  Lik in the road, with no fences or anything.  It's cute.  Oh! and the best part is, they play Justin Beiber, all the time!  the kids know "BABY,BABY,BABY, OHHH!" It's adorable.  Anyways, I think that covers pretty much everythig so far.  We are going to the market now, we never know what to eat so we've just had a lot of fruit.  Hopefully, we'll learn to cook tongan food, soon!  It really is like heaven here!  I'm starting to volunteer at the primary school on Monday, so hopefully I'll have good stories from that!

MALO!  Alu a!

Last day in the U.S. . . .

So I'm leaving for Tonga in a few hours, it's kind of hard to believe!  Basically I'll be working on this big research project I have designed, to study family dynamics, for the next three months.  The program is through BYU, kind of like a study abroad but it's a lot less structured and we each have our research projects we will be doing. I am staying in a village in Vava'u about thirty minutes away from the capitol city Neiafu.  There are five students going to Tonga and I will be living with one other girl, Michelle. We are staying with a lady named Ana and I'm pretty sure she is single and lives by herself. I think that covers all of the logistics. . . I'm not sure how our house will be as far as running water and all of those kinds of luxuries, but it should be interesting. It's kind of nerve racking and I really feel like I have forgotten a million things, but I'm sure it will be great!  I'm really excited and think it's going to be a fun adventure, not to mention a great experience to build my research skills and learn a ton about the Tongan culture!

P.S. I made this blog for a class I had last semester, so all of the posts before this are about the class and my project, and I don't recommend reading them (they all start with learning journal, if that tells you anything).

Learning Journal 30

My last learning journal! I can't believe the semester is almost over, and in less than one month, I WILL BE IN TONGA!  It almost doesn't seem real.  It's like everything that we have been doing in the prep class has been fine, but now I'm realizing everything we learned is about to be incorporated into this HUGE three month experience I am about to do. Today in class we reviewed basically everything we talked about this semester and I realized it was a ton of information, which is sad for the final, but really good at the same time.  Hopefully, I will be able to take all of these things I have learned and make one really awesome field study experience.  I was talking to my friend last night about how crazy it is that it's so close and how the closer it gets the more nervous I get.  But in class today, I started thinking about I think I am more prepared in some days than I remember.  For example, one of my concerns is what if I don't meet people.  But we have learned in the class how to enter the community and find gate keepers that can help you enter the community, which will help with that concern.  Another concern I had was what if my interviews go badly?  But this really shouldn't be that much of  a worry for me because I realized I know a lot more about interviewing than I think  I do, and I know the probes that can help interviews go better.  So it's really nice to see as I look back on everything we have learned this semester, that everything is coming together and things I have learned are REALLY preparing me for the field.  In my mind I'm kind of thinking ok, this class is over, now I can focus on my project.  But in reality, this class is helping me all the time in my project.  Anyways, it was just nice to see that connection today during the review session.  I'm excited to use all of the prep that we have had so far and actually go out into the field!

Learning Journal 29

I can't believe we only have one month before we go to tonga!!!  Some days I feel totally prepared, and then other days I feel really unprepared!  It's like one day I'm thinking ok, I have my project pretty settled and it's very doable, and I'm going to hang out with the family and figure everything out as I go, then the next day, I'm like what am I going to do down there? what am I going to wear?  what am I going to do with my hair?  how am I going to meet people and get involved in the community????  Mostly, I'm just really excited!!!

As I continue to read this book about migration, I'm so impressed with the people in the book.  One thing I read in the most recent chapter said something about how the people don't have very many things or very much money, but they don't really need it and it's not "sad" if they don't have much money.  The author was saying how the culture isn't driven by power and money the way that our culture is, so it's like they most of them are totally content with what they have.  It's funny because I don't consider myself to be a super materialistic person, but I'm always thinking about money and how I wish I had more, so I could buy these other things and pay for more things.  I really think that the mentality of being content with what you have and not always wishing you had more is something very admirable.  I would love to pick that up when I'm in Tonga!

Learning Journal 28

These last few journals are getting very difficult because I feel like I'm running out of ideas of things to talk about! We have had a lot less readings and class discussions than before, so I'm not getting as many ideas from those sources.  In class on Monday, we talked about culture shock. I realized when I was reading the article before that there is  a very real chance that I could have some form of culture shock, especially given that I have never been anywhere outside the U.S. Dallin brought up a good thought at the end, suggesting that we may have "living in a third world country for three months" culture shock. It's funny because I feel like after 5 hours of class a week about the field study and the Tongan culture, I have a somewhat general understanding of what it will probably be like, but in reality I know that there is no way that I can really prepare myself and understand it completely until I get there. It's the same way with the culture shock.  I can picture myself being surprised by things they do or a little concerned with how many of the material things I'm missing, but until I actually get there I don't think I can really understand and prepare myself completely. A lot of what we are doing is preparing us, but at the same time I feel like you can't really be totally prepared, and that's probably part of the fun.

As far as my project goes, I'm just tying up loose ends.  The project presentation went well in my opinion, and made me realize that although I don't know exactly how everything is going to go in Tonga, I do have an understanding of what my general goals are and that I will be flexible and sensitive to the culture.  I hope that everyone in the audience felt the same way.  Most importantly, as I continue to learn about Tonga, I am able to adapt my project (without changing the basic methods or outline of the project) to the culture itself.  For example, as I have been reading about migration in the book I am using for my book report, I have discovered that the migration rates really affect the family, especially the extended family, and that might be an interesting to see what I can learn about that. Anyways, the point is that I know things can be changed and expanded as I learn more about the culture and as I attempt to enter the community, and as long as I have done all that I can to prepare for those things here, I think it will be ok while I'm there!

Learning Journal 27

I thought the article about "Coping with Culture Shock" was very interesting.  It was funny because on the second page of the article it basically says, the basic make up of another city will probably be the same as your town, there will be tall buildings and taxis and stop lights, etc.. . . . but I was thinking, I don't think Tonga is really going to look like that right away.  So from the very beginning, it's probably going to be a culture shock, because the make up of the island is quite different.  As the article listed different things that one could have culture shock to, I tried to pick the ones that most worried me.  Some of the things he listed were: confusion over role behavior, surprise or disgust about some of culture characteristics, loss of familiar surroundings, being rejected (or not accepted) by community members, and sense of doubt when old values are brought into question.  Although all of these are concerns, some worry me a lot more than others.  I have been thinking about how scary and depressing it would be if the community members rejected me, or just didn't like me.  I'm not worried that they won't be friendly or nice to me, but it's really scary for me to think about them never really liking me or letting me into their community.  Of all of the things listed in the article, this scares me more than all of the others.

A couple of suggestions on how to deal with the culture shock really stuck out to me, first being prepared. We have been working on that for the past few months, so I feel like I'm getting prepared as much as possible.  I think it's really great that we have learned things about the culture here though, because I feel like if I would have just gone there without knowing certain things it would have been a lot harder.  For example, the dogs that are deserted on the streets, or eating horse, or letting someone else take your child and raise them.  All of those things would have been a lot more surprising and upsetting if I would have seen it there without knowing about it before.  Another suggestion he gave that I thought was really helpful was to become familiar with local ways of communicating.  I think the best way for me to overcome my culture shock, and feel like I can be accepted in the community, is to learn as much as possible about what the do, how the communicate, and what is acceptable and expected.  Although I think there will obviously be some shock when I get to culture, I think this article was really helpful in helping me to deal with that shock.

Learning Journal 26

Earlier this week we did methods practice assignment that involved us making observations of people and then entering an unfamiliar community.  I thought these were helpful assignments because they made me realized how hard it is to observe other people without applying my own value statements or assumptions on the people. This is a good skill to have when in the field because many of the things that would be viewed one way in one culture can be viewed totally differently in another culture.  Another thing I thought of was how this is something that we can kind of practice everyday, just by not making judgments about people based on what we see.   I think that's just something little that we can do to be better at not making assumptions when IN Tonga.  The  entering into a community assignment was even harder because it's more uncomfortable.  My experience wasn't bad, it's just a little difficult and awkward at first because you don't know what to say. But it's definitely a helpful thing to practice before we go.

Learning Journal 25

I had an interesting experience yesterday that made me very happy!  Well, I don't know if happy is the right word, but it made me realize that some of the things that I have learned in this class are applying to my life already. I was in class and we were talking about gay marriage and the effects of having two gay parents on a child.  Normally, I believe basically everything that my professors say, especially about research and outcomes.  My professor was saying how having two gay parents can be harmful for kids because they need a mom and a dad, for different things like reasoning (moms) and emotion regulation (dads).  He was also saying how other kids can make fun of these kids because of their two gay parents.  But, I remembered reading in two of my other text books how research has shown that there are no actual negative effects of gay parents on their children. So, instead of believing what my professor said, I looked back at my books and at the studies they used.  And although there did seem to be some possible confounding variables in the studies used to validate these results, the research was there and it was used in the text books.  So how does this relate to Tonga?  Well we talked about the Ophellia syndrome earlier in the semester and about how important is to not wait to be spoon fed things and to question what people tell us.

I'm hoping that this little experience means that I'm becoming more prepared for the field.  I think that going out and studying what I question, is exactly what we will be doing in the field, so that little experience was a little bit of prep and helped me to see how much more I can learn what I try to find out more than what one person tells me.

I also watched the video about translation, something about "the babel fish."  Watching that made me realize how serious of an issue translation can be. My tongan is terrible, and I think I'm just kind of expecting that the most of the people will speak english.  But I know that this is probably not going to be the case, or atleast not for everyone that I meet.  I think it's really funny how somethings can be so misunderstood in other cultures, because of how different phrases are understood.  I definitely want to make sure that I find a good translator and make sure that I'm not saying things that would assume that they understand what I mean.  For example, instead of using a phrase that describes something here, I will make sure that they understand the concept of what I'm asking by using words that I know they understand meanings of.

Learning Journal 24

I was really impressed today in class about the importance of being flexible.  I think sometimes I get caught up in schedules and goals and getting things crossed off lists and can miss the importance of what I'm doing.  Ashley was talking about this in class when she was saying how people can be so worried about reaching their goal numbers, they miss the importance of their project.  I kind of liked what she said about how it's important to not just be goal oriented but to also be intention oriented.  I definitely don't think only being intention oriented is enough by itself. If we were always intention oriented, then I feel like we wouldn't accomplish nearly enough, because we could just settle and make ourselves feel better by saying, "well I had good intentions."  Kind of like the old saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."  But I do definitely understand that if you are so obsessed with reaching your goals, you can miss a lot of stuff a long the way.  I think this is something important that I will need to remember in Tonga.

First of all, my project is to learn about families in Tonga and to be immersed in the culture.  Although I will have goals to interview so many families a week, or to do so many activities to meet people, the reason I'm doing these things is to learn about the families, and not to reach the numbers.  So, if I spend a lot of time with one family learning about them and can't fit in another interview that week, I think that's ok because I'm still learning a lot.  Secondly,  it's important for me to not set too many strict goals because I can't control what happens completely while I'm there.  We talked with Sione last week about how people don't set plans for a specific time because things always come up and they are always "running late."  So, I have to make sure that I don't set myself a rigid schedule that would be dependent on everyone else being on time or being where I need them to be at a certain time.  Instead of spending time being frustrated about plans not working out or about not finding someone to interview that day, I need to make sure that I am focusing first on getting involved in the community and putting myself in culturally unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations, like Ashley said in class today.  That is going to make my experience better and help me to learn more than if I am just worried about getting a certain number of interview or so many pages of notes.

Learning Journal 23 and source about language

Article about language in Tonga.
New Zealand Ministry of Education. 2000. Guidelines for Tongan language programs. www.learningmedia.co.nz

So this article talks a lot about really specific language things, but I was really surprised that they only have 11 consonants in their alphabet, which explains why there are so many vowels in every word!!! I don't know how I didn't realize that before, but I didn't.  It also talks about the importance of pronunciation, which I know I am really bad at.  But the same words (or letters put together in the form of a word) can have different meaning depending on where the accent is.  It's crazy how different their language is from ours.  It also talked about the different levels of language, like the ones they use when they are talking to family and friends vs. the king. They say it's just like in any other language where you use different words depending on the social situation you are in, but it seems a little more complicated than that.  I'm just hoping that if I happen to run into the King while I'm in Tonga, he will excuse me because I'm an American.  That's probably not the attitude I should have, but I'm really just working on learning how to talk to the normal people right now.

Learning Journal 22

I really enjoyed the sessions of the Inquiry Conference that I went to. I went to one about medical treatments, and I was really impressed by how much the guys learned on their field studies.  Some of the injuries that the people came into the clinics with were terrible, and I just kept thinking how different their injuries would have been if they would have had the kind of treatment we have here.  But the more that I listened, the more that I realized they have their own ways of doing things and their culture has some influence on their ideas and perceptions of medicine.  For example, one guy was saying how in Ghana some people don't like to take oral medications, so they crush up the antibiotics and put them on their body directly.  I was just thinking how a lot of people here wouldn't understand that, and might say that's an ignorant thing to do; but what I realized was that they have their own ideas of what is best and that's their tradition.

As far as how I can apply this to my trip to Tonga, I think that it's just always good to have reminders of the importance of learning from the other cultures.  It's a lot more important to learn from other people than to say what you think could be done better or what you think is wrong with their culture.  The guys at the presentation talked about how they learned from the places they went even though the things were just simple.   Once again, that's my goal for my time in Tonga-- to learn as much from the people as I can, even if it's just the simple things.

Learning Journal 21

It seems like it has been a million years since I have written a blog post (I'm not necessarily complaining), so I'm having trouble remembering exactly what the last thing we read or talked about in class was.  I thought the peer reviews were pretty helpful, it was nice to read other peoples proposals to gain a better understanding of what areas could be better and to get ideas of how to incorporate things in.  I am continuing to work on my IRB proposal right now, and then planning to get back to my actual project proposal next weekend.  I can't believe how close it's getting to the end and to Tonga.

Last week in our Tongan class, we read an article where this man talked about his opinions of Tongan culture (he was Tongan, but moved to the states in his childhood).  He made some really wonderful points, especially in talking about how he loves his culture, but he has to forsake some of his culture norms to be in harmony with the gospel standards.  It just made me think about how we don't have to adopt every single culture norm just because that's our culture, we can have our own opinions about things and have different ideas than the culture norms around us.

Learning Journal 20

Every day I'm getting more and more excited to go to Tonga, but I'm also getting more and more worried about my project proposal.  I feel pretty good about my project as far as the subject and methods, but I'm still struggling with the background section.  There is just so much information about families, and different studies on families across the world, it's so stressful!  But, other than that, I feel like everything else is coming together, and it's starting to feel very real!

I thought the reading called "Baskets and Blankets" was kind of interesting, even though I wasn't really feeling all the art talk.  But I really liked how the author talked about how to learn about a culture you have to appreciate the beauty in the culture.  And sometimes you don't know enough or don't have enough experiences to really be able to understand another culture.  I think sometimes, even though I know better, when I go to Tonga I'll be able to understand everything about the culture and I'll be an expert about Tonga!  I think it's important to remember that even though I'll spend three months there just learning about the culture, you can't expect to come back with a comprehensive view of the Tonga culture.  It's just a small step in learning about the culture, in one area.  The article also made me realize how important it is to pay attention and look for the beauty in the culture. It's not like that will make us able to understand all the differences in the culture or their traditions, but I think it will make us more appreciative.

Learning Journal 19

We talked on Wednesday about how we will be perceived when we enter the community and how to show reciprocity.  We were asked what we would do when get dropped off at the host family's house and how we would introduce ourselves.  I think the automatic response is to say, "Hi, I'm Allyson! I'm from the U.S., specifically a small town in KY.  I am a student at BYU and came down here to do research on the family."  But, after our lesson on Wednesday I thought about how important it is to not only introduce ourselves, but to introduce ourselves by asking questions about them or making observations about things they are doing, i.e., "that pig you're cutting open looks like it will be really tasty", or "I like your chicken!"  But seriously, I think by asking questions about them or expressing interest in their lives and cultures, they will get to know us at the same time.  And by learning about them from the beginning, I think that will help them to understand that we are there to learn from them and not there to teach them, or fix them like the article last week talked about.

The lesson also made me think about how I want to bring a little scrapbook or photo album with me.  My friend went to Peru last year and she said one of the best conversation starters/relationship builders was sharing things about her life with the kids she taught.  They loved seeing her family, and pets, and friends.  She said all of the little girls loved looking at her friends and all of our prom dresses.  I think by sharing things about our lives, that will make them more comfortable to share things about their lives with us.

One last thought I had came from our culture class.  Sione was talking about how a lot of Tongans think of the "Palangi" or white people way as being superior to the Tongan way.   For some reason this made me so sad, because even though I have a lot of pride in my culture and this country, I definitely would not consider it at all superior or better than the Tongan way, or just about any other culture for that matter.  It made me think about how I'll deal with people who think like that or treat me like I'm superior to them, because I'm a palangi.  I know we aren't supposed to try to change anything about their culture, or try to be the "mother teresa" or whatever, but I know I want to make an effort to show that I really believe there is a lot of beauty in their culture.  I don't think this will change the way they view the Palangi culture, but I think it will make me feel better if nothing else.  I'd like to make an effort to show them there are many things in their culture that I admire and even find superior to the "American way."  It's funny, because one of the most annoying things to me about my culture is that a lot of us think that our culture is the best and everyone else should want to be like us.  So it's ironic that the one of the saddest things about the Tongan culture, to me, is that some of them might think our way is a better way.

learning journal 18

This weekend I went to church at the Polynesian ward!  I only went to relief society, but it was so fun to get to talk to a couple of the Tongan people there!  I was actually paying attention to the lesson more than trying to do participant observations or taking note of their behaviors, but I did notice a few things that were really interesting.  The first thing was when I walked in, there were no gaps between where people were sitting.  In my relief society it's like everyone is grouped with their friends and there are a few seats between each little group.  I don't know if it was because they were all just friends, but it was like they just didn't mind sitting by whoever.  When I walked in, I was late and a girl on the edge of the row immediately moved her stuff and motioned for me to sit by her.  It was really nice.

Another thing I noticed was that they talked to each other from across the room.  For example, when one girl was sharing an experience another girl hollered something from literally the other side of the room and then a couple other comments were made.  I loved it!!  It was like a discussion and it was totally informal, but the message from the lesson was still getting across.  And so many of the girls were hillarious! I know it's just as stereotypical to say "Tongans are all funny" as it is to say "Tongans are all jerks" (this is just an example, not anything I have ever heard anyone say!), but a lot of the girls made me laugh so hard, which was really nice!  One of the girls invited me to come to FHE and to a Tongan class they have on wednesday nights, so that was exciting!  I plan on going back to meet more Tongan people and to get the experience of being around people that I don't know and putting myself out there.

On a different note, I really enjoyed the readings for today.  I thought the one about "eating Christmas dinner with the bushmen was really applicable."  It made me think about how important it is to not think that everything the people do or say to you is because you are white, or American, or an outsider.  The guy in the story felt like they were being mean to him or whatever because he was an outsider, but when he started asking around he found out they all treat each other like that and it wasn't just him.He actually should have felt happy they were treating him like one of them, or at least that's how I would feel.  I think my goal is to not be viewed the whole time I'm there as a BYU student, or an American, or a white girl, or anything else like that, but rather to be treated like one of them as much as possible.  I know that's a pretty heavy goal, but I think as you build relationships and get to know the people individually, they will start to think of me as more than just another student.  And the reading about helping, fixing, or serving made me realize how important it is to keep in mind that we are no better than the people that we will be in contact with in Tonga and that we should remember how they are serving us just as much as we will be serving them.

Learning Journal 17: The Ophellia Syndrome

The reading for today, "Curing the Ophellia Syndrome," had a lot of really good points.  One thing that I felt was very applicable to me was how it talked about not doing something just because that's what everyone around you does or believes.  One of my biggest complaints about BYU is how I feel like so much of personal agency is taken away.  This is not a bash on BYU, and I completely understand why the rules are the way they are so I don't need a lecture on that, but from an outside point of view, it really does seem like the rules/honor code/socially accepted norms really do take away a lot of choices for people.  It is crucial to remember that even if you are being told what to believe and how to live, you have to figure out what you actually want for yourself.   For me, I have to frequently remind myself that I'm allowed to have my own opinions about things, even if the culture around me doesn't agree on those opinions.  I think that's an important thing to remember in the Field, it's important to not just wait for someone to spoon feed us the information or tell us exactly what to do every day.  We have to be able to think for ourselves and use our brains to decide what we should be doing, how we should be using our time, and what is going to make our experience the best one for us.

Another great idea that came to me while reading this article was about the importance of journal keeping.  The author talked about how he wrote for five or ten minutes about his thoughts and feelings and things that were going on in his life, for himself.  Currently, I am the world's worst journal keeper.  But I think as I go out into the Field, it will be nice to spend a little time each day or week just writing about what I am feeling and thinking.  Obviously, we will be keeping lots of notes on our observations and projects, but just writing down your thoughts can really help you to be aware of yourself individually.

I also loved his suggestion to view everything from a different point of view.  I think that is one of the most important goals for me personally as I go to Tonga.  I don't want to view everything from my Amercian, egocentric, LDS point of view.  One of the most challenging things to do in my opinion is to step back and view the same situation from someone else's point of view.  This weekend, I watched a movie about this girl that was killing men.  Obviously, throughout the movie I was thinking of her as this bad person who was pretty much a heartless monster for killing so many young men.  So when I heard her story (about how she had been raped when she was in college and when she went to the police they wouldn't do anything because the young man who raped her was from a very socially elite family in their town) I tried to look at the situation from her point of view.  Instead of thinking of her as a monster, I actually felt a lot of sympathy and could understand how she came to be the way she did.  Anyways, the point is, I think it's important to view situations from the perspectives of other people.  Or as Atticus Finch said, "you never know somebody until you put on their shoes and walk around in them for a day." Hopefully, we will get to walk around in other people's shoes a lot in Tonga!

Learning Journal 16

The reading about finding a field cite were actually very interesting.  First of all, I realized that we are really lucky to have a contact already set up for us.  It's really nice to know that we are going to have somewhere to stay and have some contacts upon arrival.  I also think that the "field" that I will be doing my research in is one that will be very accessible since all I need is to have families and homes to be in.

The following quote from the reading is one of my most favorite that I read from all the readings so far: "The researcher does not participate in the lives of subjects in order to observe them, but rather observes while participating fully in their lives.. . through living with the people being studied."  Ashley sort of talked about this last week when she was saying how important it is for us to remember that the people we will be are interacting with, and researching in a sense, are people, and not just subjects there for us to ask questions. I have stated this before, and alluded to it several of my learning journals, but it just keeps hitting me over and over again that it's so important that we keep in mind that these are people who are being kind enough to let us in their homes and in their communities and they aren't just subjects for us to use to do research on.  They are people who have lives of their own. We talked last week in class about how much they will probably want to do for us, as far as taking care of all of the housework and cooking and stuff like that. I think it's very important that I make sure to do all I can to try and help and not take advantage of their kindness.

As much as I hope to be immersed in the culture, I think realistically my kind of experience will be "participant as observer."  They will know that we are there to observe, but hopefully for the most part my research will be observe and I will be able to build real, intimate relationships with some of the families and community members.  Obviously, to others I will fill the role of "observer as participant" since I won't have close contact with them and to some I will probably just seem like another student there for school or whatever.  But with a little luck, and cultural sensitivity, I will be able to build actual relationships with the Tongan people that I meet.

Learning Journal 14

I have been thinking about my project proposal a lot this week (which is probably because it's due Friday!) and am feeling pretty good about my topic but very vague about my methods.  I know that I want to get a general understanding of Tongan families, and not just about one aspect.  My goal is to understand multiple aspects about the Tongan family so that I can get a general understanding of what it's like on a whole.  I completely understand the point of making sure you narrow your topic to a specific enough question that you can get results, however.  This is where my predicament comes in my methods area.  I want to ask questions about multiple topics of family:  marriage, pregnancy, child discipline, gender roles and how children are viewed.  These aspects clearly narrow the general question of "what is the Tongan Family like" down to specific aspects of the family, but there are still multiple aspects to each domain listed.  So I'm trying to figure out if I will be able to ask questions about each of these domains and be specific enough to get good research, and not have to spend five hours with each person I interview. . . it's a tricky situation.

On a completely different note, I was thinking about how families in Utah are VERY different from families in my community in Kentucky.  It made me wonder how different families in Va'Vau are from other areas in Tonga.  I was thinking if I only interview families in Va'Vau and not families in other areas or islands in Tonga, it might not be a good representation of the "TONGAN FAMILY." I don't know if it would even be possible, or feasible, for me to be able to go other places to interview, but even if it's not, I'm becoming more aware of the importance of not generalizing results.  Instead of saying this is what families in Tonga are like, I'll probably want to say something more along the lines of "this is what my research showed about families in Va'vau."

Learning Journal 13

In my method's practice 2 I wrote about our experience that we had visiting the Tongan Ward.  I really loved going there and getting to spend time with the people.  It made me even more excited to go to Tonga.  It's been really stressful trying to figure out everything as far as money goes and classes, but visiting the ward reminded me why I am really going to Tonga.  It's about the people.  The other stuff is just logistics and details, but the point is the cultural experience that I'll have with the Tongan people.  I know that the research and educational aspects are very important to the Field Study experience, but I think the most important thing to me is the culture immersion.  Spending time with the Tongan people and eating their food and hearing about their lives, made me excited to gain a real experience in the actual culture.

As I continue to research about Tonga and the family, I have been thinking very hard about how I want to go about asking the questions I want to ask.  As I have read about research methods and after the methods workshop today, I am pretty sure I want to ask questions in a semi-structured interviewed setting. I am going to ask a series of very basic questions about family relationships.  I have a couple of books that are giving me some good guidelines for the types of subjects that I want to look in to and the types of questions I'd like to ask.  I think the most important thing I am trying to keep in mind right now is to make my questions narrow enough to get good, specific answers, but broad enough to gain a good assessment of the general Tongan family.  It's a hard balance, but I think it's very doable, so that gives me a lot of hope!

Learning Journal 12

One of the most frustrating parts of doing research about Tonga is how quickly things are changing over there.  From what I have heard, it seems like the Tongan culture prides themselves on their traditional ways and on their being one of the only monarchies not to be taken over by another nation.  Even though a lot of things they do are still very traditional and have resisted westernization, they are rapidly changing some of their ways.  For example, we talked in our section about how they are moving towards democratic elections.  Anyways, the reason this is so frustrating is because even a research article that is only ten years old can be very outdated. For this reason, it's hard to know what you can trust from the article and what no longer applies to how things really are.

I read an article about Class systems in Tonga.  The article was kind of difficult to read, and used pretty technical language, but it basically said that their is not really a class system in Tonga, or atleast their is no middle class.  The author said that because of the monarchy, there is a noble class, but then everyone who isn't in that class is pretty much the same.  If this is true, and if this is how it is today, I think that's pretty great.  I think it would be a nice change from American culture to have everyone be in one class, but unfortunately in Tonga, I think that class would be a pretty impoverished class.  I'm excited to go see for my self if this is still how it is today.

Another thing that I thought about while I was reading this article was how different observational research is from experimental.  Doing observational research is wonderful and can let you see a lot more than experimental research in many cases because you aren't limiting yourself to one survey or just a few specific questions, you can see the people and the way they live and see how that would influence their answers.  But, I think one thing to take into consideration about doing research in another culture is to not apply your findings to everyone in the population.  It's important to note that the research you collected may not apply to every single person or family in the whole culture. 

Article about Class in Tonga

James, Kerry. 1943. Is there a Tongan middle class? Hierarchy and protest in contemporary Tonga. The Contemporary Pacific, 15 (2),  309-336.


This article concludes that there is no coherent, durable middle class in Tonga capable of the effective class action he claimed for it. Instead, the social struggles of recent decades, typically led by members of commoner educated elites, may be seen as protests against the traditional patriarchal hierarchy and especially what they perceive to be the actions of an arrogant, paternalistic government. Rather than issues theoretically associated with class, the struggles have involved commoners' claims to respect from socially superior leaders and recognition of the covenant-like relationship that ideally should exist between them within the body politic. 

Learning Journal 11

This past week has brought on several new discoveries for me! First, I decided on a book that I want to read for my Book Review, called "Becoming Tongan."  It's all about the Tongan family and I feel like it will be very beneficial in my research on the family.  I think this is a great opportunity to help me gain a little bit of insight, and if nothing else, have some conversation starters for my encounters/interviews with the Tongan people.

Another thing that I learned this week was the importance of preparing good questions before going into an interview and learning how to be a good interviewer.  Obviously, I haven't mastered the skill by reading a couple of articles and practicing a couple of interviews, but I think it's very beneficial to gain an idea of what you can do to make your experience better.  I'm very excited for the opportunity I will have to sit down with the Tongan people and ask them questions about their families and their views on things.  I think one of the most important things I learned about that though, is the importance of guiding the interview and keeping it some what structured while still tailoring it for the situation at hand. I think I learned that it's actually ok to change your questions around a little based on the answers that the interviewee gives and that you don't have to stick to strict number or order of questions, etc.  I think that keeping this in mind can really help you to have more successful interviews and help the person you are talking to want to open up more.

Lastly, I changed the topic that I will be studying around and am taking a different angle on studying the family.  Instead of studying aggression, I am going to ask the Tongan people multiple different questions about family life in Tonga and get a general consensus of what the family norms are like.  I am hoping to gain insights into the norms of Tongan courtship,marriage, pregnancy, child discipline, gender roles, along with a few other things.  I think that this project will allow me much more flexibility and will help me to gain a broader understanding of several aspects of the family rather than one specific thing.  I'm really excited about this topic and think it will make a successful project in Tonga!

Learning Journal 10: Marriage

First, I should tell you that while I was reading the article that I found about marriage in Tonga, I was able to practice keeping an open mind about their culture and not using my frame of reference to describe it.  For example,  in Tonga, it's not uncommon for a father to be supportive of young men making sexual innuendos or talking about her in a sexual way in front of the father.  He actually supports it and is proud that his daughther is desirable. I had never really heard anything like that before, and it really made me think about how different that culture is compared to what I know.  But that doesn't make it wrong, just because it's not what I do or what I would encourage (or allow!) my husband to do.  There were many examples like that in the article I read about marriage. 
I was really interested to find out how many people elope instead of having ceremonial weddings first.

Rafa Rafa-Extra credit journal

I really enjoyed the rafa, rafa activity.  Basically there were two different "cultures" and you learned one of the cultures and the reasoning for why you did everything that you did. Then, after you had played the game of your culture for a while, you went and observed the other culture.  It looked really strange from an outsiders view.  Then, the group that went and observed the other culture reported back to your culture what they saw.  After that, two more groups went and got to participate in the culture.  It was really confusing and I couldn't understand why they were doing what they were doing or how to play their game with them.

Basically, the point of the activity was to open your eyes to how it is to go to another culture.  You don't really understand everything that's going on or what you are supposed to be doing.  It's kind of hard to understand why people are doing what they are doing just by observing.  It made me think about how important it is in my Field Study to make sure that I don't go into another culture and think it's weird just because I don't understand it.  It's also important not to try to define their culture only using things you know.  I feel like sometimes it's easy to try and explain other people using things you know, or the values of your culture.  But it's important that I don't do that when I travel to Tonga.  I can see myself thinking that it's weird that they share everything because in my culture it's important to have your own things and be independent.  But, when you step back and look at it, independence may not be important to their culture at all.  That's just one little example, but something that I can see happening.  Overall, I think it just goes back to the general idea that we need to be aware of our ethnocentrism, and make sure that we are trying to view other cultures with open eyes.

Learning Journal 9: A few frustrations and some enlightenment!

The good news is I think I found another book that will be a much better choice for the book review. I'm very excited about that!  I was thinking that reading books about Tonga, and especially reading books that are famous in Tonga, will not only give us a better understanding of the culture, but will also give us more to talk about with the natives.  If we can go over there and say, "oh yeah, I read that book by that Tongan author!" it will show them that we are trying to learn more about their culture and immerse ourselves in their ways.

The bad news is, my ORCA Grant Application was denied, so I don't have that source of income I was hoping for.  The other bad news is, because the grant was declined, the mentor I had been working with for the last few months is no longer going to work with me on the Field Study.  So, I have to find a new mentor.  This could also change my project proposal a little, as well.  The reason that I had chosen to do the methods that I did was because my previous mentor had worked on a similar study and had hoped to get the at published, now my options are a little more free.  Hopefully, some nice professor will decide to help me out with the Field Study!

Something that has been on my mind since I have been reading the articles about research and interviewing skills is how great this type of ethnographic research is.  Most of the research that I read in my major and for my classes is experiments and studies that have been done to try and prove (or disprove) a specific hypothesis.  With our Field Studies, so much of our research is interviewing and observing, that I think you really get the first hand experience of what the lives of the people are like.  It seems to me like they aren't your research subjects, but rather they are people that you get to know and learn from (and about).  The interviewing process is very important, but I think the most important thing in my mind (and probably something that will take real effort on my part) is that when you are interviewing other people, it's important to just listen, and let them talk. The more I think about Field Studies research, the more excited I get to go to Tonga.  Going back all the way to the first article, it's not just about what you learn about yourself and the experience that you have while you are abroad, it's about what you learn from the people and their culture.  I'm hoping my mind will be open and I will be able to learn a lot from "the Tongan way."

Learning Journal 8: Dilemmas

The topic of aggression that I have been trying to study for the last couple of months is continuing to give me concerns.  I still find the topic to be very interesting.  I enjoy researching about aggression and reading articles that have previously been published on the topic, however, I am concerned that my topic might be a sensitive topic for the Tongan people.  Unfortunately,  I can't figure out how to tell if this is true.  I am confused as to how I am supposed to know how the people will react to my questions about their aggression norms without being around them.  I am continuing to look up articles on aggression and on the Tongan people, but am having little luck finding articles that touch both of those topics.  On the bright side, I have found an article that addresses how women in Tongan display their anger, and think that this will be very helpful to me.

In order to prepare myself for my Field Study, I have tried to put myself in culturally unfamiliar places.  For example, I attended a baptist church by myself.  It was very interesting to be in such a different church environment than the one I am used to.  I went into the situation with a very open mind, which kept me from being judgmental, or thinking to myself "that's wrong" or "why aren't they wearing dresses?"  I thought to myself that it would be very easy to think those kinds of things, but because I went into the church trying to learn what they do and not compare it to what I believe, I was able to gain a whole new perspective.  There were several things about the church that I even thought "I wish we did that in my church."  I think this helped reiterate to me the importance of going to Tonga with an open mind and just trying to learn about their lifestyles. When you go into something thinking I am going to learn and not judge, it makes it a lot easier to have a good experience.

The last dilemma that I have had this week came from my book search.  As I previously mentioned, finding a book about Tonga has been very difficult for me.  However, I found a book titled, " American Taboo," that I am considering using for my review.  The book is not directly about Tonga, but rather about a murder of an American woman working in the Peace Corps, that took place in Tonga.  As far as I can tell, the book addresses some of the cultural aspects about Tonga.  However, it seems like it might be a little of a stretch to get it to relate to the Field Study.  For this reason, I have also considered reading a book called, "Guns, Germs, and Steel."  This one isn't about Tonga exactly either, but is more about societies on a whole and seems like it addresses culture more than my other choice. Another decision I need to make!

Learning Journal 7: Finding a Book

I have been looking for several books to read about the Tongan culture for my book review.  I have noticed that there aren't nearly as many books about Tonga as there are about a lot of other cultures, which makes it difficult to find  a good book to read for the review.  However, I have been able to find a couple that talk about adolescents and social problems, which will hopefully be helpful and applicable to my project.  As I continue to search for articles to use for my proposal I am noticing that there are a ton on adolescents and aggression, and children and social problems, but not many on children in Tongan, especially on aggression.

As I continue to think about my project, I am wondering if I might run into problems with the topic that I am studying now. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the topic might be sensitive among the Tongan people.  I am concerned that people might not want to talk about their parenting styles, especially to someone like me, who is likely to perceive them as harsh.  I need to look more into this and see if this is a possibility.

One last thought I have had is about my paradigm that I am looking through.  We have been talking about this in class, and I think it's important to make sure that when I am in the field, I am trying not to view the culture through my American-LDS paradigm.  It's important to look at the culture with open eyes, but that's easier said than done.  I think that will be something that will take work throughout the whole time I'm there.

Learning Journal 5: Finding Articles

My goal for this weekend has been to find articles that would be useful for my project proposal.  Not only am I looking for things about aggression in children, but I am also searching for articles that will pull culture into the context as well.  I have had a little luck, but unfortunately have not been able to find anything on Tonga so far.  My biggest question right now is whether there is just not much research done on aggression in Tonga, or if I am just not finding them.  I have a few more sources to check out that could be helpful and hopefully I'll be able to find more about the Tongan culture in those.  


As far as developing my project, I am still concerned about the logistics and about how the Tongan people will respond to being asked questions about there aggressive behaviors. My current idea is to give students in 6^th grade, 9^th grade, and 12^th grade classes (approximately 200 in each grade) a questionnaire to complete concerning relational aggression.  Part of the goal is to not only determine what Tongan children do when they are upset with their peers, but also to determine if they feel relationally aggressive acts are done to hurt, or demonstrate anger towards, other students.   There will be four open ended questions given to determine the forms of aggression:    1.What do most boys do when they are mad at another boy? 2. What do most boys do when they are made at a girl?  3. What do most girls do when they are mad at another girl?  4.  What do most girls do when they are mad at a boy?  Children will write their responses on a questionnaire handed to them in the classroom setting.  Forms will be sent home with the children to obtain parental consent before children participate in the study.

Ideally, I would also like to add in to that mix some interviews with parents or teachers to see how they perceive aggression amongst the children.  It would be nice if I could interview children and parents as well to see what kinds of discipline children receive and see if there are any correlations between harsh punishments and higher levels of aggression.  I still have a lot of work to do though.

Learning Journal 4: Aggression across cultures

Aggression has been researched for several decades now and is a topic that is constantly developing new results.   Childhood aggression is a topic that is relevant today because of the importance that it plays in child personality development.  Whether children are the aggressors or the ones being dominated, the influence of aggression on children can affect them for the rest of their lives. Research in the U.S. has shown that children of authoritarian parents, or parents that spank, yell, and frequently use the term "because I said so," tend to be more aggressive than children of authoritative parents.  However, I can't help to wonder if this is the case for children of all cultures. Aggression norms also tend to manifest themselves differently between genders. Typically, girls show signs of more relational aggression while boys show signs of more physical aggression.

I have chosen to study aggression norms in Tongan children to see if they show similar norms as American children.  I am feeling confident that I will be able to find results boys tend to display more physical aggression whereas girls display more relational aggression. The problem that I am running into now is figuring out if it is possible to study both gender norms as well as the kinds of parents that produce aggressive children, in the same study.  At this point in my project, I am continuing to read anything I can find about aggression and aggression studies.  I think familiarizing myself with these studies will make it easier for me to solidify my project idea and to narrow exactly what I want to study.  So the research continues. . .

Learning Journal 2: Alien vs. Native

Today's reading really got me thinking about what kind of researcher I want to be when I get in the field.  The author discussed the problems and benefits of being an extreme participant vs. and an extreme outsider.  Obviously, my goal is to be completely immersed in the culture and to learn as much as possible about the Tongan culture, but I hadn't really thought of any problems that might occur for research if you completely adopt the beliefs of the natives.  I guess the question that came to my mind was where do you draw the line from observing and participating? I definitely want to participate but I don't want that to influence the results of my research.  I think finding a balance between those things will take some effort on my part.

Learning Journal 1: My First Blog

This is my first blog, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Creating a blog for my Prep-Course for the Tongan Field Study I will be doing over the summer, has proved to be a much more difficult task than I would have imagined.  I am working on trying to add headings to the blog so that I can sort the blogs into categories. . . this could take a while.

 We were assigned a very interested reading for tomorrow's class called "The Origin of the Tongan Tao'vala."  I was actually surprised that the whole point of the article was only to describe the origin of the Tao'vala (given the title of the article, I guess I should not have been surprised at all).  Given that this article was the first reading we were assigned about Tonga, I assumed it would be. . . well more about the Tongan culture, and not just an article of clothing. However, as I was reading I noticed myself thinking, "well, that's very strange."  I started to think if maybe that was the point of us reading this article to begin with (I'm completely guessing on that).  Maybe, we were supposed to notice how we perceive other cultures as being "strange" because they are not like our American culture.  I can't help to think that, as Americans, we our quite egocentric in the way we view other cultures. My thinking that it was strange for the Tongan people wear tao'vala to weddings, funerals, and in the presence of the king, is a perfect example of that.  Of course, in my country it would be very odd (and possibly even rude) if someone were to wear a mat, or a baked canoe sail, to a wedding or funeral, but in the Tongan culture it's completely appropriate.  This opened my eyes and made me realize that as I travel to Tonga, I will need to be very sure that I do not view the culture and their traditions compare to what we do in America.  I feel very confident that I will have a much better experience if I just observe what they do and allow myself to be immersed in that, rather than just thinking that it's different from what I do and therefore, wrong or weird.